Happy Anniversary~!

Today marks the day of mine and my husband's one year anniversary! ^.^ I can't believe it's been exactly a year now since we've gotten married. :3 It seems to have went by so fast! Oddly enough, he and I don't really want to do anything today to celebrate. We both actually almost forgot that our anniversary was today. If it weren't for people bombarding us with "Happy Anniversary!" messages, we probably would have never thought of it. It's not that we don't want to celebrate it, it's just that it's kind of an inconvenient time for us at the moment. Everything has just been so busy for us, especially with the seemingly never ending stream of people that keep coming to visit us (yes, we're still getting visitors left and right, almost to the point where it seems like we don't get much time to ourselves to just sit back and relax). Also, it kind of doesn't help now that we've sold our car, so we can't just go off somewhere at our own convenience anymore. :P

It doesn't really bother me though, staying at home and resting. It may not be the most exciting way to spend our anniversary, but it's alright. It kind of makes me feel bad though when people get all shocked over us not doing anything and fuss over it. Someone even said that the honeymoon phase must be over for us, which doesn't help make me feel better at all. It actually makes me more paranoid than anything else... I dread the idea of the spark of our romance fizzling out. Sounds so.... miserable, boring, and blah. I know people say it's normal for that to happen over the years of being married, but really, I don't think I can accept or be satisfied with such mediocrity. Honestly, I do everything in my power to avoid that sort of thing, so hearing that really just irks me and puts such a bad taste in my mouth. It completely sours my mood. Ugh... Curse my semi-easily influenced mind...making me stress over what other people say. It would be wise for me to just follow the caterpillar's advice:

Easier said than done, but I should try harder to not let what other's say get to my head so much. Getting upset over things like this does more harm than good, anyways, especially since people will always say what they want without knowing what it is that they're even talking about. I need to just brush it off and move on! *nods* I won't let anyone else ruin the rest of my day, that's for certain!

What Do I Do....?

I've been stressing out for hours now all because of a dream I had a few nights before, and now here I am typing out a blog post at 2 am, unable to sleep. It seems to have been a prophetic dream... You know, one of those dreams that pretty much land up actually occurring in reality. Normally, I don't make such a big deal over these, as the ones I usually get tend to be trivial and don't have any positive or negative effects on my life, but this time, it's different. This time, my marriage could be at risk.

In my dream, my husband was playing WoW (which really isn't so out of the ordinary to begin with, since he plays often) and he was talking to someone on there. I could see the username, and in my dream, I had asked who that was, and he had told me that it was someone he had met the day before while playing. He said that he didn't plan on getting to know this person or asking them personal questions about themselves and that he just likes having friends in the games he plays. Sure enough, today (well, I guess technically it would be yesterday now...) I saw that same exact username on his screen while he was playing WoW, and when I asked him about it, he said the exact same thing that he said in the dream. Now of course, this alone isn't even that big of a deal, but I promise that it gets worse.

Fast forward a few days (or weeks, or even months maybe...?) in the dream, and all my husband wants to do is play WoW all the time and talk to this person. He lands up forming a bond with them, and then finding out that this person is a girl. He starts talking about how awesome he thinks she is, and flirting with her online all the time, and eventually he tells me that he thinks he has feelings for her. The very thought of this happening is devastating to me, and I have no idea what to do. On one hand, I can bring this up to him and try to prevent it (which I want to do), but on the other... I wonder if this is going to really land up happening, if I should just let it be. If this is what's going to happen, would it be wrong if I try to fight against it for my own happiness and possibly preventing my husband from being with someone who could make him even happier than I could ever dream of making him as a result? Would it be selfish of me to do anything but stand idly by and watch everything as it unfolds? Do I just leave? Or do I just try to stay calm and hope that the rest of my dream doesn't come true?

I'm nervous about what may happen if I bring this up to my husband... I want to trust him and I want to believe that our relationship is strong enough to overcome anything, but this is just too much of a coincidence so far. Then again, it could very well be just that... mere coincidences. Ugh... A few days ago, I wouldn't have even given that dream a second thought, and now it's driving me insane! I don't know what to do.... I feel so conflicted and I can't get it out of my head. *sigh* Maybe I should just gather up all of my courage and talk to him about this, and then see what he does... I'm crossing my fingers and hoping everything will turn out alright. Wish me luck!

Such a Sweetie!

This whole week, my husband has been in Illinois to do some training for his new job in the army! He's been doing all of this just so we can both go to Japan together. ^_^ Today has been his last day with the training and he passed his tests with flying colors! I'm so proud of him~! x3 I'm also soooo glad that he's returning home to me tomorrow! I miss him, and I know he misses me very much, too. He even sent me a cute little picture/message that he drew himself! (shown up above) I really adore it. <3 It just goes to show you that even the little things can be really precious and can make you smile all day!  So don't take even the simplest things for granted!!!

He's Coming Home~!

My hubby is going to be back home in just a few hours~! ^_^ I've been spending most of the day cleaning the house, getting dolled up, and cooking. @_@ It's such tiring work! I'm still not done, too. Right now I'm working on baking a cake to celebrate and to welcome him back home. :3 I want to make sure that he's really happy to be back and that tonight will go perfectly. ^.^

Hehe~! In a way, it almost feels like he and I are dating again right now. I remember how I would do everything I could to look my best, make sure I had everything ready, and waiting at home anxiously for him to come and pick me up. I seem to be doing the exact same thing at this moment. xD It's kind of exciting, to be honest. :) It's been awhile since I've been this eager just to see him... I've missed him so much.... I've decided that as soon as he steps through the door, I'm going to slather him in kisses! Lols!

Anyways, I really should get back to the preparations now.  I can go on and on about how elated I am over the fact that he'll be here shortly and how much I love and miss him, but I'll spare you readers the torture. :P Bye bye~!

<3

Ball and Chain...?

I love being married, I really do. What I can't stand though is when people refer to me as my husband's ball and chain right in front of me. -_- I think that's extremely rude... Not only is it offensive to me, but it really offends my husband, too. He really hates it when people say things like that, because he feels that I'm anything but a ball and chain. I don't weigh him down or keep him from going out with friends or having fun, or try to control him in any way. Doing that would just send a marriage crashing and burning into a pit of unhappiness, and who wants that? I know I don't. :P 

Unfortunately, there are people who believe that it is inevitable for a woman to become mad and self-centered as soon as they get married. I can't tell you how many times my husband's friends had "warned" him and told him that he better think twice about getting married once we had gotten engaged. They told him that I may seem all sweet and amazing to him at the time being, but once we get married, I'd be different... They said he could kiss his freedom goodbye and that he would land up miserable and that eventually, I might land up either cheating on him or leaving him for someone else. They had said not to trust the things I say. Hearing that (yes, they said this while I was in earshot) really hurt. 

I know I probably shouldn't have let it get to me, because I know that I've been nothing but my true self ever since my husband and I had first met. I was never a crazy lady (well... okay, maybe a little bit. I'm a fun kind of crazy though... :P) who yells and throws fits over nothing and complains about everything, nor did I ever feel the need to ever boss anyone around. As for the cheating/finding someone else part, that just completely goes against my moral code.  xP The woman who they said I would become is not in the least bit like me, and I would never want to be her. Even now, they say to just give it more time, and it'll happen... I'm just glad my husband had never believed them and knows me well enough to be able to see that I'm not going to change.

Still, I wonder where people even get these ideas about marriage from? Thinking that way is really unfair to all of the wonderful women and loving wives out there. Even if they had encountered one woman who was like that, it doesn't mean that we all are going to be that way. It's a real shame that so many people have such a negative outlook on marriage and horrible expectations from wives and soon-to-be wives... I just wish that horrible stereotype would just go away... It gets really annoying hearing about it over and over again. :/

Can't Sleep...

It's my second night by myself since my husband had gone to Florida. I really dislike being here alone when night comes around... At least during the days, I can go out and distract myself, but at night, I'm confined to the house (ladies shouldn't be out by themselves at night; it's not safe!) and I start to realize just how lonely I feel. The house just seems so empty with no one else around... I can't help but be a bit sad when I think about that.

Well, at least I am able to talk to my husband daily, so that makes things a bit better. So far we talk once in the morning, then in the afternoon, and then right before he goes to bed. Still, it's not quite the same as him being here. 

I know, I know... I'm whining too much. :P I guess when it comes to the people I love and care about most, I can get really clingy. I can't help it! Dx I have to say though, even though he's not right next to me, I'm happy that he's having so much fun with his family and friends. ^_^ He doesn't get to see them very often, being in the army and currently residing on the opposite side of the country from them. They only get to see him about twice a year! I only have to be without him for 10 more days. Compared to how long they all have to wait just to see him, that's really nothing. It makes me feel a little bad when I think about that... Still, I'm really looking forward to him coming back! xD I guess the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is really true! Since he's not around, it just makes me want him even more! Interesting how that works... :P 

Anyways, I should really try to get some sleep. It would be bad if me staying up late persists and I look like a total wreck as soon as he walks through the door. Lols! Good night, everyone! Have pleasant dreams. :)

Weekend Date~!

The weather out here this weekend was so gorgeous, and I've been enjoying every moment of it! It's usually so cold where we live, so warm days are somewhat of a rarity, and so I thought it would be the perfect for my husband and I to take a trip to the beach! Needless to say, so many other people had the same idea, and it took us awhile to find a parking spot, but in the end, it was all worth it!

Just look at that view! It was so pretty, I practically begged my husband to snap a picture of it just so I could post it here! Lols! I really enjoyed my time there. The whole time we were there, I was busy splashing around in the water (which was pretty cold, but I was able to adjust to the temperature quickly) and  running around having fun like a kid! It was a refreshing change of pace when most of the time I'm just at home cleaning and doing chores. Also, so many dogs ran up to me while I was there. xD It seems like no matter where I go, dogs just make a beeline for me. I really have no idea why, but I really love it! Every time it happens, it just makes me want pet dogs even more!

After the beach, we headed to Taco Bell for some Doritos Locos tacos (which are SO amazing!). We were starving, and it hit the spot just right. ^.^ Then after we finished our meal, I spotted a crepe place called the Monterey Crepe Company, which was right next to Taco Bell. It's funny, the whole time we've lived here and despite how many times we've been down that very street, I've never once noticed it before until then. We decided to take a look inside and it was kind of small, with not very many tables or people inside, but their menu was huge and had quite a selection of sweet and savory crepes(they also had muffins, cookies, sandwiches, coffee, and other beverages for sale). Given my huge sweet tooth, I of course chose something off the "sweet" menu.  I chose one called "Papa Johnny", which contained Nutella, bananas, coconut, and almonds and was topped off with whipped cream and confectioners sugar. I wasn't too sure how those ingredients would taste blended together at first, but once I had my first bite, I definitely did not regret my decision!

Doesn't it look delicious? Looking at it makes me want another one~! Too bad I have to be good until next weekend! Lols!

It really is a shame that the weekend is now coming to an end. It just seems like it passed by so quickly, but I suppose that's what happens when you're having fun with the one you love. :3

Is Time Speeding Up?

It certainly feels like it is. It really feels like this week just came and went in a blink of an eye. O_O In a way, I do like that it hasn't been dragging along, but at the same time, I wish that it would slow down a bit, especially since when Wednesday rolls around, I'll be by myself for two weeks. :( My hubby will be flying to Florida to spend time with his friends and family, since he's not entirely sure how often he'll be able to visit them once we are in Japan. Just thinking about this is making me miss him already! TT_TT

It's funny though... Three years ago before I met him, the idea of living alone with no one else around seemed ideal to me. I really thought that that was how I was going to live, and I was happy with the idea. Now, I can't even imagine sleeping alone in a big bed without someone rolling over to my side and clinging to me. xD Not only that, but this place is going to be really quiet without him, too. Hearing him curse and yell at the games he plays everyday has become so normal to me, and quite frankly, I find it to be hilarious. :P

*sigh* I'm starting to get all mopey, even though I know he won't be gone forever. Plus, I am the one who decided to stay behind on the trip this time around, since I want to spend a bit more time with my mother and my brother, who is coming in from Georgia for leave (my brother is also in the army). Well, thinking about it now, I suppose I won't be completely alone after all, but for the most part, I will be. It's a shame that I can't really spend the night at my mom's place or wherever my brother will happen to be staying, since I have my furry babies to look after and I surely can't take them all with me. v_v;

Ugh! I need to think positive! I shouldn't feel so glum! I'm perfectly capable of having fun on my own. This could be a good opportunity for me to have more time to do the things I enjoy doing, such as reading and maybe going out and doing some shopping... It's not like I live far away from a certain tourist area (which shall not be named for private reasons), so I have no reason to stay at home bored. Maybe it may be nice to go out to eat somewhere by myself, either. If I keep myself as busy as possible, it won't be so bad. Thinking of it like that makes me feel a bit better already! ^.^

Venting...

It's been a couple of days since my husband's friends have arrived here at our home, and while I do not mind their company in the least, I notice something about my husband every time they're around; his personality changes. I suppose it's like this for many people, but a lot of the time it seems he becomes slightly annoyed with me and a little more snappy. Sometimes I feel like I don't even exist, but I guess that's to be expected since he really doesn't see his friends all that often, but I still can't help but feel a little bothered by this. What really took the cake was that earlier, I just asked for a hug, and while he did give me what I wanted, he said afterward that he didn't want to show too much affection around company. -_- I didn't think a hug was all that much to ask for or was so inappropriate...

The odd thing is that this behavior comes and goes randomly throughout the day. One moment he is kind of cold toward me, the next he's all charming, but by then I'm already upset and can't bring myself to be all cute and loving. Sadly, I just can't act the way he expects me to whenever it's most convenient for him. I like how he is much better when it's just the two of us, when he's pretty much always sweet to me and tells me things like how much he misses me after a long day of work and that seeing me makes him feel so much happier. Of course, I would never forbid his friends from coming over and staying even though I feel this way. Like I said before in a previous post, I like that they care enough about him to come and visit, especially when some of them come over from different countries just to spend time with him. That kind of friendship is really hard to come by, and I would never want to ruin that. The only thing I can do is just stick it out and try not to lose my temper. It's not like this will last forever.

Honestly, I already feel better just being able to get this all off my chest. It feels good to be able to say exactly what's on my mind, especially during the times when I can't really talk it out with anyone. *Sigh* I must seem so pathetic... haha. Oh well. :P I'm off to go do my own thing now and kill some time! Sims 2, here I come!

It's a Full House!

Wow, lately my husband and I have been getting people visiting us left and right. @_@ Currently, we have 5 people staying at our place, all of them my hubby's friends. Some of them will be here for a week! I'm not complaining though! It's actually really fun. ^_^ It's sweet, too, since they all want to spend more time with him before we leave for Japan. It shows that they care and it really is wonderful that he has such good friends. Everyday they have been here so far has been filled with laughter and smiles, so what more can I ask for?

It's really amazing. Honestly, I've never really had friends like that. In a way, I have to admit that I'm slightly envious of my husband. Seeing the way he is able to talk and joke around with his friends is something I wasn't really able to do with the friends I had. Though, thinking back on it, that must have been my own fault. I never was the social butterfly, and I've always held myself back out of fear of not being liked. You can't have close friends if you don't allow yourself to get close to anyone. All that does is pose as a problem.

Thankfully though, I'm not so unfortunate as to be completely alone. After all, I am married to a man who I can do anything with and confide in no matter what. In many ways, he is like a best friend. I'm really happy that I was lucky enough to have met him. ^_^ I can't imagine what would happen if he was never a part of my life, and I don't ever want to~! <3