It's Getting Easier....

Being alone, that is. It's been almost a week since my husband left for Florida, and I've been getting used to being here with no one else around. In a way, I kind of enjoy doing everything at my own pace and only worrying about my own mess to clean up and feeding myself. It's like a little vacation for me! xD Not to say that I don't miss him anymore, because I do, but being able to have time for the things I want to do is great! I really love being able to go out without having to worry about getting back early to start cooking dinner and to be able to greet my husband home from work.

I guess choosing to stay at home turned out to be good for me, in a way. I feel like I've gained some independence. I had never been left alone before, at least not for too long. I've always had someone around that I could depend on if I ever needed something or if I was scared... I found out that that was part of the reason why I was worried about my husband going to Florida without me. I realize now that I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and don't need to rely on others so much. I needed to find that out, otherwise, I would probably be depending on others my entire life. What kind of life would that be?

Haha, well, look at me, 20 going on 21 and I'm still maturing! I feel like there's still a long way to go for me. I still feel like I have so much to learn about becoming an independent adult and that I'm still like a kid. Well, I'll just take things one step at a time. I guess people weren't kidding when they getting older is rough. o.o

Can't Sleep...

It's my second night by myself since my husband had gone to Florida. I really dislike being here alone when night comes around... At least during the days, I can go out and distract myself, but at night, I'm confined to the house (ladies shouldn't be out by themselves at night; it's not safe!) and I start to realize just how lonely I feel. The house just seems so empty with no one else around... I can't help but be a bit sad when I think about that.

Well, at least I am able to talk to my husband daily, so that makes things a bit better. So far we talk once in the morning, then in the afternoon, and then right before he goes to bed. Still, it's not quite the same as him being here. 

I know, I know... I'm whining too much. :P I guess when it comes to the people I love and care about most, I can get really clingy. I can't help it! Dx I have to say though, even though he's not right next to me, I'm happy that he's having so much fun with his family and friends. ^_^ He doesn't get to see them very often, being in the army and currently residing on the opposite side of the country from them. They only get to see him about twice a year! I only have to be without him for 10 more days. Compared to how long they all have to wait just to see him, that's really nothing. It makes me feel a little bad when I think about that... Still, I'm really looking forward to him coming back! xD I guess the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is really true! Since he's not around, it just makes me want him even more! Interesting how that works... :P 

Anyways, I should really try to get some sleep. It would be bad if me staying up late persists and I look like a total wreck as soon as he walks through the door. Lols! Good night, everyone! Have pleasant dreams. :)

Venting...

It's been a couple of days since my husband's friends have arrived here at our home, and while I do not mind their company in the least, I notice something about my husband every time they're around; his personality changes. I suppose it's like this for many people, but a lot of the time it seems he becomes slightly annoyed with me and a little more snappy. Sometimes I feel like I don't even exist, but I guess that's to be expected since he really doesn't see his friends all that often, but I still can't help but feel a little bothered by this. What really took the cake was that earlier, I just asked for a hug, and while he did give me what I wanted, he said afterward that he didn't want to show too much affection around company. -_- I didn't think a hug was all that much to ask for or was so inappropriate...

The odd thing is that this behavior comes and goes randomly throughout the day. One moment he is kind of cold toward me, the next he's all charming, but by then I'm already upset and can't bring myself to be all cute and loving. Sadly, I just can't act the way he expects me to whenever it's most convenient for him. I like how he is much better when it's just the two of us, when he's pretty much always sweet to me and tells me things like how much he misses me after a long day of work and that seeing me makes him feel so much happier. Of course, I would never forbid his friends from coming over and staying even though I feel this way. Like I said before in a previous post, I like that they care enough about him to come and visit, especially when some of them come over from different countries just to spend time with him. That kind of friendship is really hard to come by, and I would never want to ruin that. The only thing I can do is just stick it out and try not to lose my temper. It's not like this will last forever.

Honestly, I already feel better just being able to get this all off my chest. It feels good to be able to say exactly what's on my mind, especially during the times when I can't really talk it out with anyone. *Sigh* I must seem so pathetic... haha. Oh well. :P I'm off to go do my own thing now and kill some time! Sims 2, here I come!